I spent many years in a relationship that tested every aspect of who I am and I am sorry to say I did not fair well under those conditions. Partly because it also affected my children, but also just because I was not evolved enough to really understand.
It is hard to step above my own insecurities when someone hurts me or people I love. Hurt comes in so many forms and they all evoke feelings and feelings are the most insidious things to deal with. Feelings begin growing the minute someone is born and, depending on how we are taught to deal with them, continue to grow and become more complicated every year.
Forgiveness is not some warm fuzzy feeling that negates all the pain, but in a way it may be as close as I'll ever get to that. Forgiveness is letting go of what happened, allowing myself to move along knowing I can't change the past, do not have to repeat it, or like it, but I do have to find other things that are more important than getting even, or suffering eternally over something that is in the past.
Someone once said that forgiveness is the fragrance a flower gives off when someone steps on it. I think I understand that.
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