Pleasing to death

The kindest and best thing you can do for those you love is be true to yourself.

That doesn't mean doing what you think you are supposed to do, or what others think you are supposed to do.

It means looking deep into your heart and finding out who you really are -- the real you before all the sposed tos began molding you into something else.

The romantic ideas learned from fairy tales and movies are there to create drama and drama is not the same thing as the right thing. You'll notice that all that drama in the stories and films causes lots of problems -- it will do the same thing for you.

Being pitiful is not the same thing as being lovable. The most attractive people are those who are self reliant and capable.

It is not necessary to be mean to be true to yourself and if someone really loves you they will not turn away from you forever because you are who you are. But . . . and this is a big one . . . you can drive people away by trying to do things just to please them. In the end the truth will come out and often in unpleasant emotional outbursts that drive a wedge between you and whoever you were bending over backwards to please.

Rather than running around trying to buy someone's love, or pleasing them to death, show them, by being an example, how to be a healthy, independent, useful human being. That might be the most loving and greatest thing you have to give.