Tell Me Do

What do I want people to think of when they say, or hear, my name?

This goes beyond what I might want them to read in an obituary, because I am thinking of those people who really know me, the ones who wouldn't have to read the obits to know who I am.

I asked my sister what is the first thing she thinks of when she hears my name and she said, "What do you want to know?" See? That's my sister, kind to a fault, terrified of hurting anyone's feelings, good hearted." That's the sort of thing I want to know about me.

Because I insisted she tell me something before I told her what kinds of things I was looking for, she came up with outspoken, opinionated, always says it like it is. Later, after hearing what I said about her, she reneged by saying I was good hearted and kind too. Well, I like to think so, but it wasn't the first thing she thought of.

I wonder what people say when they talk about me? She says they say I am intelligent, fun to be with and funny. I like that, but somehow it just doesn't sound quite right to me.

Is this insecurity, or ego, or just plain silliness? I don't know, but it is what I was thinking about tonight.