Will power

 

I have worked so hard to get my health in line and keep it there. It meant eating right for a type two diabetic, losing weight, giving up salt and carbonated drinks for my kidneys, lowering my blood pressure, exercising, getting the right amount of sleep. It was an all encompassing job and then right before my appointment with my kidney doctor I blew it!

I have excuses. I was scammed out of most of my money. My heart was broken. I was depressed.

But the truth is it is just so much work. My Muse gave me every chance to recuperate and get back on track.  He supported me in every way and I still can't seem to do it.

I am a food addict. I eat to feed my emotions, whatever they are. I eat to fill the time. I reward myself with food. I even dream of food at night. You might think if I just went out and ate the food I crave that would stop the problems, but it doesn't. I tried that last month and I've gained twenty pounds in a month!

Food is one of those things that are necessary for life. I cannot just give it up completely. One of my brothers is dead. He drank, smoked, and ate pretty much whatever he wanted and it killed him before he turned seventy. My other brother says that once he starts eating he wants to keep it up. I understand that. I have the same problem, but he does stop. He is very healthy and health conscious. My sister has always prided herself on eating exactly what she wanted, but even she is now facing our dilemma. 

It seems man was built to eat hardy, run down his food and die young, but if we want to change any of those things we are fighting nature and she is an awesome opponent.