I've always been uncomfortable around people who try too hard. They never felt genuine to me. Like they were trying to live up to someone else's standards or goals and didn't really understand what they were.
Of course the flip side to that is never attempting anything I might fail at, or look foolish doing.
Both are extremes to be avoided.
The trouble is knowing where the boundaries are. At what point is it false bravado that is good because it allows me to push past my inhibitions and at what point is it just pure asinine stubbornness? That is the tipping point.
I don't like pushy people either. Maybe that is my biggest problem. I know what I don't like in people, but I am not sure what I do like? That would be awfully negative.
I do think I know what I do like. I just think it is very hard to find in myself, or others. There have been three people in my life that I truly admire and respect for who I think they are and I think I'm right. The Conductor, The Professor, and The Actor, people important enough to me that I give them the nickname that allows me to write about them anonymously.
Two of these people are still close friends of mine and I hope the last one will become one eventually. I am enough of an optimist to believe all things are possible given the right circumstances, so my job is to make things possible.
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