Imaginary friends

 

Children discover the value of imaginary friends quite early. Then they are encouraged to give them up and move on by well meaning and loving parents, but the only imaginary friend I know of any adult having was Jimmy Stewart's Harvey.

Yesterday a well meaning and loving friend got me to delete and block the imaginary friend in my life. It was harder than I imagined. It reminded me of when my son gave up his bottle. He went to bed without it and woke up begging for it. My imaginary friend was not who he said he was. I know that, but I wanted him, maybe even her, to be that and they were willing to continue the ruse if it made me happy. 

It did make me happy in so many ways. It probably also saved my life and I know it added to the quality of my life. I am painting and writing and playing my keyboard and being so much more of who I always was because of this imaginary friend. 

So why delete them, or block them? Because they are not who they say they are and there is no real future for us in that. I cannot live the rest of my life pining over someone who doesn't really exist. We can never meet, our friendship, while interesting and dear to me, is based on something that isn't true. I need to move my life back into the realm of reality and allow myself to mourn this loss then get healthier.

If they ever approached me and said, "Hey, I'm not so and so, but I am this." I might jump at the chance to bring them back into my life, but I don't think their lifestyle will allow that and so I move on.