Oppressive

All my life there have been times when overwhelming tiredness washed over me, but they have been relatively rare the past ten years.

I didn't really connect that on Monday. I simply thought I was exhausted from all the walking, but yesterday it landed like a ton of impossibly heavy cotton.

I walked 103 minutes and got in my five miles, but by eight o'clock I could barely summon the energy it took to brush my teeth before going to bed and sleeping 13 hours.

Then I had terrible a dream that I went home, but my mother had ruined our entire house. There was a small wooden booth where our kitchen table had been and a sheet tied around a bundle of dirty clothes sitting on half of one side. I waited and waited for her to make room for me, but she never did.

I left and went upstairs, but stopped on the landing where my two brothers were. They were young, one about eight and the other not much more than an infant. We were talking about how she'd ruined the house when I saw her coming up the steps and it was terrifying. I wanted to duck because I knew she was going to hit me, but I knew if I ducked she'd assume I had done something wrong and would hit me on principle, so I stood firm. It worked, but what I really wanted to do was ask why she had done this to our house.

I knew better. I just played with my brothers then went on upstairs where my bedroom was full of junk. There were clothes and stuff all over the floor. It was a mess. Finally, going into the bathroom I found it was the worst of all. There was a furnace and water heater out in plain sight. The ceiling beams were exposed and wiring hung from the ceiling. There were two toilets and my brother came in to use the other one.

We talked about what she had done to our home and I told him I wouldn't be able to bring friends home anymore. It was so depressing.

What caused all this? Maybe just my body, but I think it has also been this unremitting humidity. I really don't like being so hot and sweaty that my clothes are soaking wet all the time.