I love you. I love you not.

Why am I attracted to certain individuals? Obviously it is more than any one thing, but which combination is the killer combo?

Good looks? Well there are lots of ideas of who, or what is good looking. Physical attributes are not high on my list, although there is a certain type I am not attracted too.

Youth? Children are cute, but when it comes to adults I find myself all over the place. For me youth is more about actions than years. I am drawn to a certain amount of playfulness.

Intellect? I have to admit that I tend to prefer people who are creative and good at what they do.

Goodness? I am turned on by true goodness. Sweet to the bone people draw me like moths to a flame, but it has to be real. I can spot a faker ten miles away.

Strength? This one is a toughie. I love strong women and gentle men, but there is an oxymoron here, because it takes a strong person to be truly gentle.

Honesty? Absolutely! I need to be able to trust someone implicitly or that niggling doubt over shadows any other attribute they have.

So give me a strong, playful, creative individual who is good and honest and I am head over heels in love, but then who isn't? It's so easy to love these people.

The trick seems to be to love the needy weak ones who will do anything to get what they think they want. If you aren't one of those people who find clingy people whose conversations always start out or end up with a poor me story, necessary for your ego, you probably have to work very hard to appreciate them for who they are. The sad sams of this world scare me. Not so much because they aren't successful, but because I wonder if they will use me to reach their next goal.

I don't mind being used if I am aware of it and choose to be helpful in some way. I just don't care for being manipulated and I see a lot of that going on.

Working at the Y the other day, I had one child who kept running over and whining that so and so was chasing her. I saw other adults encourage this behavior by stepping in and making the whiner the center of attention by jumping on whoever she named. When she came to me I got the two of them together and asked first one and then the other what the problem was. Then I had them tell me what the other one said. And then I asked both of them what they thought a good solution would be? It took a little time, but it was time well spent. I don't think I ever saw her go to another adult after that. She always came to me and I always made them go through the same process, working it out themselves until one time I just called out, "Use your words."

She might grow up to be one of those people I really admire.