Journaling

A friend suggested I journal the changes I notice as I go through this transition. Trying to think of a way to journal one more thing, I decided that for today, at least, I will journal it in my thoughts.

I have noticed changes, not all good and not all bad. The bad ones I am hoping are only temporary inconveniences that will go away with time. Little things, you know, for example my brain feels like it is slipping around inside my skull like a large wet sponge! It brings with it all sorts of interesting little side bits. Like feeling dizzy when I least expect it, or having GI cramps now and then. One that I noticed for the first few days of last week was a shortening of my abdominal muscles. Actually they only felt like they were too short and turning to stone. Had I not found that one on the Internet one night I might have panicked and gone to a doctor. That little wonder seems to be gone now.

The good changes have been much more subtle. I noticed that I sort of felt like Rip Van Winkle, waking up and wondering why things seemed different. Not the least of which was that I "felt" something. I haven't really done much of for a while. Oh I knew I was supposed to feel and I did care, but not enough to really act on it much. It is like coming out of a cocoon. Things are gradually taking on a clarity I hadn't missed. I actually wanted to go out and straighten up the garage, move my stuff farther back into the basement so my son could get to his wood pile easier. I can no longer sit and stare off into limbo without a thought in the world for unreasonably long times. I can still meditate, but it is a choice, not just time that disappears. I have a desire to be creative, not just in thought, but actuality. And I am noticing that I am growing just more and more head over heels in awe of The Lennon! I thought it might be him, but
I think it is me noticing him more.

I am more aware. I am more here.