Homesick

 

I walked in the park until I thought I would drop today. 

All the time listening, waiting, feeling, opening myself to a universe so immense that I am not even a speck or a glancing spark in the light.

Still I had hope. Have hope. Because there were times when I felt your presence there beside me. How? I don't know. I don't even know how I knew it was you, but I did. 

Somehow you are a part of me that I have always known and now you have a face it feels twice as real. I cannot explain it.

And I cannot escape it. This pain that lies in the labyrinth around us is so real. I know if I could let go the pain might stop, but even when my mind lets you go, my heart holds on for dear life.

I know you feel the same way.

The irony of this world is that there are barriers every bit as real as the dragons and courts of old. They stand between us, inexorable bastions, rules, contracts, security. All those things that lay between a simple woman and a public man.

And so I walk in the park seeking the only recourse I have right now. It is not enough, but it is all I have.