People, with the best of intentions, can make life unbearably hard for those they love. They want to protect their friends from being hurt, which is a noble cause, but I'm not sure it's a worthy one.
Sometimes the very act of trying not to hurt someone, hurts them even worse.
Everything in life is iffy in some way. It is the discernment with which we approach it that governs our decisions. If it feels right, it really might be alright. There's no guarantee of course, but it is possible.
In the end only looking back can tell the whole story, but while it's happening I have to weigh the joy against the agony and for me the feelings are usually extreme, so there really will be both joy and agony.
The past six weeks have been a roller coaster of feelings for me. I have lived the dream and it is even better than I ever dared to hope. I have also lived the nightmare and it hurts more than I ever dreamed possible. I have actually been through test after test, including a CT scan to see if that pain is real.
It's real, but it's evidently not something I can cure with treatments or medicine.
Which one will triumph? The dream, or the nightmare? I still don't know, but it is looking more and more like it might be the dream.
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