Something fishy

Sometimes I think there is something fishy about my life.

I mean, maybe I am a fictional character in someone's story, or a figment of a cartoon.  There are times when I just go along doing the same old things over and over, but then there are the other times.

As if someone got really excited and wrote a whole new chapter.  Adding things no one could possibly dream of for a woman my age and in my position.

It's always been this way.  I live a normal life in amazingly not normal ways (even though I live in Normal.)

Today it poured down rain, so I put off going out to the mailbox.  I've been barely missed by lightning three times before, so I have no desire to tempt fate, or mother nature, or maybe my creator. When I finally did go to the mailbox it was still raining. It rains a lot in my life, especially on important occasions. I got three small packages!  Any day you get three packages in the mail it is exciting.

I came inside, grabbed my scissors to open the packages and decided to prolong the joy by opening the regular mail first. So I did. Then I carried that mundane business mail over to file it away.  Scissors in one hand.  Mundane mail in the other I reached out, dropped it on the table and turned to walk away.

A moment later I was flying through the air and falling, scissors in one hand, pictures playing fast forward in my mind of how I was going to land, impaled upon the scissors I'd used to open the mail, watching my computer flying through the air because I had tripped over its cord and probably ruined it --  and  my sister.  Why my sister?  Because my sister falls.  That's what she does.  She falls off the curb. She falls off the porch. She falls over the clothes on her basement floor and sometimes she just falls flat on her face because . . .  that's what she does. I usually do not fall.

I fell two years ago when I stubbed my toe on a crack. It didn't break my mother's back, but it nearly broke my knee which is relatively healed now.

Or it was until today when I landed, not on the scissors, but upon that same knee. It's what I do.  When I fall, it is on my right hand and left knee.

Now I am sitting here with a partially used bag of frozen fish sticks on my knee because that is all I had that would fit my knee in the freezer.  Well, that is badly worded.  I did not fit my knee into the freezer. I fit the fish sticks onto my aching knee to ice it.  Only now they are defrosting.

It's okay.  I don't really like fish sticks anyway.