Others

Once upon a time I thought all people were drawn to each other for basically the same reasons and that these feelings were biologically installed in us for the evolution of our species. Nature, and many of the people in my neighborhood, seemed to favor big men who were powerful and aggressive, good at making money so therefore good providers and good catches for young women with nice even features indicating they were healthy, so they could give those dominant males healthy little heirs.

Then I realized that a lot of those men and women certainly did not appeal to me and, more interestingly to me, people not in those categories did. Over time I realized that perhaps even more importantly, I would rather be alone than be with a lot of people over any extended period of time. It isn't that I particularly want to be alone, but that I prefer to be alone rather than be constantly annoyed or constantly defending myself. That was what made me begin to think about what attracts me to other people, people whose company I enjoy, whose personalities I find endearing, people I like to be around more than many others.

I think the first biggie is probably respect.  I am very attracted to people I respect -- for a whole host of different reasons.  I like to be around open minded rational people, people who are curious about the world and constantly driven to find out more about it. I like people who are not, not afraid, but who are willing to go above and beyond their fears to check out new things. I like people who are so confident in who they are that they feel obligated to be kind to those less fortunate. I love people who put two and two together and never come up with three.

The people I am most comfortable with live on the edge of the box without paying much attention to the fact that there even is a box, so when they move outside it -- they are simply playing. They are people who believe that nothing is too sacred to be challenged or examined, but if there is one big rule that should be followed, it is the rule of civility. The ability to live in polite society makes life nicer.

I see no point in making a stir for the sake of the stir. I have no need to draw attention to myself in negative ways, but I am almost willing to die for what I believe in strongly enough. Other people like that touch me to the core.

Even though I often fall far short of all of these things, they are still the things that draw me to other people and make me want to be around them.