A stuffed marshmallow

I am bored with me.

I don't know whether it is the result of so many months of isolation and immobilization from my foot, or the fact that they are changing my blood pressure medicine, but I have become a no energy person.

Sometimes I think of an idea, but just do not have the energy to follow through with it.

Honestly, I can spend a whole day deciding to do something and never get around to doing it.

I volunteer two days a week and I love that, but by the time I get there, do my job and get home I am worn out.

Sometimes I am too tired to sleep, but then I fall asleep in my chair and wake up stiff and feeling like a stuffed marshmallow who was inflated while sleeping.

I am at a dead end.  I see the mile markers along the way and think, "It's too late for this or that." My body has betrayed me and now my mind wants to catch up.

This dullness on my part is like being tethered to nothingness by a cloud. It reminds me of the dreams I had as a child whenever I was sick.  I would feel like I was climbing uphill in knee deep snow. Now the snow is in my bones.

I think if I could get out and walk in the woods, breathe fresh Fall air, it might get better.

Even a stuffed marshmallow has something to look forward to.  Good or bad it's likely to be roasted over the fire and melted into some soft gooey chocolate, or perhaps, just immersed in a cup of hot cocoa.