At home

Not working requires a great deal of discipline if I want to be happy.

Going to work everyday makes people get up at a certain time, shower, dress, leave the house, do particular things for most of the day with a lunch hour tucked neatly into the middle. Coming home means doing those necessary chores before going to bed and doing it all over again.

There are decisions, but the regulation is there and the sense of having accomplished something is there, you feel justified in building your life around this job. It pays the bills, it performs some sort of service, it can be both a blessing and an excuse not to do other things.

Not working, or really just staying home, because, with rare exceptions, we all work, gives me a lot of freedom and that is not always a blessing. Now I have no excuses. I am the boss. I write the schedule. I am responsible to myself and for myself.

Not everyone thrives in this sort of situation. It means I need to regulate my own time. I must decide which things are the most important and in what order they should be done. My feelings of self worth rely on the sense that I am a productive, useful member of society who can take care of myself. I am accountable only to me, but that means I must be capable of saying no on my own, without feeling the need for back up or a reason like a job.

 I think staying home can be a lot harder than going out to work. I need to be strong enough to deal with the people who think I am doing nothing. I need to keep myself focused and know what is really important to me, then do it!

If I can manage all this, it makes me happy.