Tip the scales

One moment I think I am going to die: of some imagined disease, pain, fear, sadness. The list goes on and on depending on how I look at it.

A few moments later everything changes.

I try to figure out exactly what changed because the signs of the disease are still there, the pain is still pretty awful, I'm still afraid and I am definitely still sad.

"Still" seems to be the only constant.  I am still here.

Continuing to ponder what improved I slowly realize that it was simply that something changed.  Any change alters my perspective, my thoughts, my position.  It doesn't need to make sense.  Any change tips the balance.  The more radical my feelings, the more room there is for change to occur.

Extremes are both my worst enemy and my friend, because knowing that I am a person of extremes, I know now that I need to remind myself to DO something.  It can be as simple as getting out of bed, or making tea.  Whatever it is, it must make that old brain fluid slosh around so that some different part of it connects with a more rational part of my mind.

Imagine a scale weighted down by hundreds of little pebbles.  Remove a few, or rearrange them and the balance tips.