Power

My heart twists in my chest. My breath catches in my throat. Tears spring to my eyes unbidden.

Whether caused by the unexpected blessings of a world filled with miracles, or the unbelievable sorrows of some great disaster, extremes seem to start out the same.

I am overwhelmed by feelings so great they seem to have weight and mass, height and depth. It is impossible to believe they only exist inside of me.

And the wind keeps blowing, the sun keeps shining, the rain continues to fall . . .

I expect some kind of great revelation to manifest around me.

I want control. I want to know who or what is in control.

I look for signs, search for rituals, explore each and every possibility, trying desperately to manage what seems to be out of my hands.

And the wind keeps blowing, the sun keeps shining, the rain continues to fall . . .

Unlike the stones who stand stoically, or the waters that ebb and flow, the beasts who endure with patient eyes, or the trees that cling to the earth with bony fingers, I believe that I am unique, that I deserve more, but the only revelation that ever comes is that I am descended from a long line of humanity that has persevered for thousands of years.

The only power I have inside me stays inside me.

I need to find my place like the stones and the waters, the beasts and the trees.  I am a child of this earth.

And the wind keeps blowing, the sun keeps shining, the rain continues to fall . . .