No birds!

Watch enough house shows on television and the novelty of going through house after house wears thin, but I need to do something when coughing keeps me awake.

I watch hours of people who want to "give the children a chance to grow up in another culture" but without sacrificing all the extras they have become accustomed to.

I see people widening their eyes in great self satisfaction, proud that they noticed the adjacent construction site all their own -- as if it were hard to hear the roar of backhoes and gigantic cranes right next to the patio.

After a while it becomes clear that whatever was popular ten years ago is totally unacceptable to today's buyer who cannot imagine the horrors of living without stainless steel, or granite counter tops.

One woman fixates on birds.  She doesn't want to hear birds near her bedroom.   And if all else fails there is always something really terrible, like the color of the walls, or the fact that the fourth full bath only has a shower.  Or closets!  There are never enough closets, nor are they big enough for all of the diva's costumes.  We are so proud of our excesses! 

The favorite phrase seems to be a "happy wife means a happy life."  It makes me ashamed to be a woman.  And still I watch .  . .

Why? Because I DO like to look at houses and the alternatives are the weather channel, reality shows or excessive recapping of the news on all the other channels -- and reruns.  Always reruns.

And this incessant coughing.