Up again

I am up again in the middle of the night because of a recurring nightmare.  First I dream I am trapped somewhere waiting on someone who said they would come and are hours late, or wandered off leaving me to wait for them to show back up.  Other times I dream they tell me they are going to do things they know they have no intention of doing, or make excuses for doing the same irrational things they do again and again.

These are real nightmares from real life, but they are as disturbing to me as zombies walking down the street trying to get me.

I used to believe these people didn't understand how their behavior affected those around them, but I know better now.  Perhaps that is what causes my nightmares -- good people doing really hurtful things.

I have tried talking this over, albeit in polite civilized ways, but it has never changed anything except sometimes make me feel guilty for bringing it up.  I have even tried rationalizing to myself why they do these things, but that is why I wake up in the middle of the night sweating, with acid reflux and a headache.  It makes no difference in the long run.

I am sick right now so I am more vulnerable to bad dreams than I might be otherwise.  The fever manifests as frustration and a feeling of being used by otherwise good, loving, people.