A reason to be

Housebound for the past four days I am beginning to really feel the isolation.  And that is with good people going out of their way to call me and keep in touch. 

I have had good books to read, time to draw, time to write--it would seem like heaven to some, but it leaves me too retrospective.  The medicine I am taking as well as the coughing keeps me up until total exhaustion allows me to sleep either sitting up in my recliner or propped up on four pillows.

Then I dream!  Scenes from my childhood mixed in with scenes from the books I am reading, combine with the present to create themes that are both comical and depressing.  I have rescued so many injured turtles and found so many odd animals in unthinkable places it makes me wonder at my sanity.

But all that's really wrong is that there is no real purpose to life lived this way.  I never realized it, but I do need a reason to be. 

So it is a godsend to have some transcribing to do even as I squint at the chicken scratches that resemble words and the prospect of going back to my kindergartners hangs like a carrot calling me through these days.

I cannot imagine living like this for months, or years.  And I cannot imagine a time when I will have nothing to look forward to. In the coming months I will be going to Denver, Knoxville, Tuscaloosa, Canton, St. Louis, maybe Austin, so compared to my grandmother who only left Illinois once or twice in her life, I am a world traveler.  In between I will write letters to my pen pals, watch children take their first steps towards reading and the books that enrich my life so much, and count the blessings of a life that has allowed me to be healthy enough to do all these things.