Understanding makes the world less threatening. When chaos reigns, or I feel like I am at
the mercy of someone or something outside myself, fear takes over.
Rules are made to combat fear. If I do this and this and this, all will be well.
And while this is true to a certain extent, it is no
guarantee. Fortunately, or
unfortunately, depending on how you see it, we do not live in neat little rows,
or thirty minute sitcoms, or rabbit hutches.
We may not all be world travelers and adventurers, but in our own little
worlds the happiest among us are free to make choices.
I grew up reading the script. I knew what was expected of me and what to expect, or so I
thought. I believed happiness was what
I made it and it was also an extreme, not something I expected to have all
the time.
I assumed I had the best I could get and because parts of it
were extraordinary it was pretty good.
I didn’t follow all the rules, but I followed the important ones and
maybe a few others I should have ignored.
Due to ignorance and misinformation and a desire to follow
the script, I missed something really important. I found true love in my children and that was where I let the
ball drop. I should have seen the
beauty of our relationship was that they needed me and I needed them. We were symbiotic creatures whose lives were
almost perfectly balanced by my providing the things they needed to grow up
healthy, richly independent and self sufficient. It fed me to try and provide these things and they thrived when
they were available.
It never occurred to me that the other relationships in my
life should be the same if I truly wanted the best there is. I have certain things to give and giving
them enriches my life in immeasurable ways just like rearing my children
did.
People who need these things I have to give feed me in ways
no one else can. Their needs become a
gift to me, and my needs a gift to them.
Finding these people leads me into a rational world where reality reigns over scripts and is a much
better place.
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