Mysteries

Everyone loves a mystery.  The unexplainable makes me think that anything might be possible.

This morning as I sat down to record my weight and walking and blood pressure, something I do nearly every morning, it occurred to me that I am one of the biggest mysteries in my life.

My mind and my feelings live together in some sort of weird tug of war.

My mind understands facts and concepts.  It knows the rules.  It also understands that many rules are broken whether they were made for that or not.  My mind tells me that reality is often much less than ideal.  Concessions must be made in order to achieve some things.  Deciding what these things are determines my life’s path.

My feelings are much less rational.  They rear up like dragons from the deep recesses of my mind.  Pretty unpredictable, almost totally uncontrollable, they emerge as green-eyed misery and fervent, passionate heat.  All the babies in between simply give me time to learn the lessons necessary if I am to survive all this.

This balance of mind and feeling produces my writing, my status quo, my future!  It turns me from a flat paper doll into a real live power to be reckoned with.  The mystery is about where the pivot point is.  

I’m never sure.  Feelings can over ride rationale in an instant.  They can turn a cloudy day into a desert, or a day at the beach, and I can deal with the grittiness of the sand much better when the water is close by.

The dragons are much happier swimming than being force-marched down straight and narrow roads. 

The mystery is why they are sometimes forced to swim in the flooded gravel pits of resurrected thoughts and other times allowed the freedom to ride the waves.