A day in the life of me

Sometimes it takes a long time to become me.

I wake up after a night of vivid dreams and open the living room drapes to see a dim, cloudy day.  Bright and sunny, or dark and stormy, I can deal with, but not this in between no man’s weather.

I sink into the gloominess.  This quicksand for the soul pulls me down and I find myself too tired to get away, but too alive to give in.

Brush my teeth.  Wash my face.  Drink a cup of coffee.  Look in the mirror.  Maybe if I put on some make up I will fool myself into believing this is just a normal day.

I try to open the door and go walk, but my chair calls to me and I find myself held captive there by its big soft arms, so I open my book and finish it.  Probably not the best idea I’ve ever had.  The book’s ending is terrible, unthinkable, depressing!  Now I need to return it to the library, get it out of my house, so maybe it was a good thing.

Maybe it is this book and not the weather that has been dragging me down.  I dump it in the drop at the library and try to make myself walk, but I just can’t do it.  So I return a purchase to the store and come home.

Finally able to walk I lock my front doors and head off up the street.  The woman with two small children is at the park.  She is very outgoing and I think this is the time to make friends with her, but I just don’t have the energy.  If I stop and talk to her I will not be able to finish this walk.  I move on, smiling at the children as the little boy chases a white butterfly across the lawn and the little girl roars like an ambulance as she pushes a toy car down the walk.

At one I eat something, my first meal of the day and then Bestest texts me and we “talk” a while.  By three I summon the energy to go hit some tennis balls.  It was a good idea.  Now I have watered the plants and can finally write this thot. 

The face in the mirror looks more familiar now too.  Another day has come and gone and I have survived.  Tomorrow perhaps I will thrive!