Diving in

Spirituality is often confused with religion, but religion is born of man and the spirit preceded all things.

I visited an almost empty church not long ago and was awed by its magnificence.  It is probably one of the most beautiful places I have been inside of in a long time.  The understated elegance had a feeling of serenity and peace.  It was a very spiritual experience. 

My children grew up in a church family.  We found love, support, encouragement and companionship there among the other parishioners.  It was an extension of what we had at home.   Like so many things in this world it was a reflection of a reflection of a reflection, one more in a string of worldly things created by humans in an attempt to live in and thrive among everything else.

I needed that then.  It was a time of learning and building upon the foundations of all that had gone before me.  Part of learning is compartmentalizing, naming, remembering.  It is like looking at one of man’s molecules under a microscope.  Trying to understand, or get a feel for the whole man there is almost impossible.

Slowly the very things that drew me in began to feel like a curtain that was shutting me out.  Finances, building repairs, lawn maintenance, personalities, hung like holes in a fabric that felt immensely greater to me.

I was drawn out of this into something more incomprehensible.  I began to thirst for something I could not name.   The beauty and ritual started to feel like a distraction. 

What began as centering prayer became a step into the stillness.

For me it was like stepping off the dock into the mystery and I have been writing, dreaming, experiencing it ever since.