It is amazing how much time can travel through thoughts in a short period. My imagination is always good, so when it is up and running at full tilt, the experience can be just as real as the reality. I wonder if that is what happens to mental patients? They get caught in some time loop that is outside the present and can't escape?
The bad things would be terrible, but the rest is really okay. Kind of like rewind on the television set. It allows me to view and re-view moments I loved or liked. Sort of like having a built in entertainment system that plays without batteries or electricity.
It also can bring up insights that I am not even looking for and that can be a boon for the now. I guess the world's word for that might be wisdom. I wonder if other people's wisdom shows up in such odd lots and in such out of time segments? There are just things I don't discuss with other people, not even the people closest to me most of the time.
Personal thoughts and feelings are much too complicated to air outside the safety net of my own heart. Like icebergs, I share the tips, but the part that is still deep inside the consciousness and unconscious me is constantly melting and growing. Not changing really, but altering and that altering makes it dangerous to share. Others cannot be expected to understand what they do not know, so if I share something it is like giving them a picture that is no longer valid later on. They still hold, and maybe even treasure the picture, while I have moved on to a different level.
Still, the urge to share these deeper things is great. So great, in fact, that I may ramble on in great circles with the wanting. Reaching out tentatively, sending feelers into the present and perhaps into you, wondering what you might think if you only knew. Not that these are bad things, just that they are incredibly personal things. Things that would probably bring us even closer together, or split us entirely.
Looking at another's soul exposed and bare is one of those things even soul mate's are careful with.
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