Aren't We Both Better Off?

My son and I went to breakfast with Lennon this morning and I find myself just so plain happy it is a little bit strange. We were talking about Zen morning laughs which are so easy for me. I love to laugh. I laugh at so many things anymore, especially myself and that may be the answer to all this contentment and joy.

I am deadly serious about the things and people I care about, but I find most of the moment to moment stuff just that -- stuff. So I wake up and my hair is piled up in the middle of my head in a knot of curls, or my weight is at an all time high, and my health is not what I would choose...but I just can't take these things as seriously as I might once have. My heating situation is barely adequate for this extreme cold and I find myself sitting on my hands a lot and wearing this giant old bathrobe over my clothes, but it doesn't seem worth worrying about. The little things just don't matter so much any more.

Now I have more time for the big things, the people things, the real problems. I can't imagine why it took me so long to figure this out. I think it is because I have let go of a bunch of those "important" needs I grew up believing were necessary for happiness. My happiness comes from some center point within me that seems to generate joy as it flows out of me. I don't need to make you happy to be happy myself, but if something I do makes me feel good and it improves your lot in life too, aren't we both better off?

I am not sure I can quite explain it, but it is the fine line where giving and receiving become the same thing. I am you and that brings a whole new world into being.

Caring about you takes good care of me.