Love is a word bandied about like a feather in a tornado. It can mean everything or almost nothing. I love bread! Whoopie! Or I love you, the most serious use that can still be pretty banal.
Real love is not all hearts and flowers and lovely music. It comes with responsibilities and some of those are not fun. Truly deep love means I want to do my best by and for you, even if it is hard and it can be very hard. Especially if what I have to do, in someone's best interests, is something unpleasant.
I doubt that any parent enjoys making their child unhappy, but it is our job to set limits, to teach a child that in the real world there will be rules and laws and mores that cannot be broken without serious consequences. The sooner they learn that, the better. Because the consequences for a five year old are way less serious than for a forty year old. And that brings up another hard part of loving.
Being consistent is important. It is okay to let children barter for treats or pleasures, but once a parent sets a firm boundary it is important for the child to learn that isn't going to change. For example: if you take something that doesn't belong to you, there will be consequences you really won't like. Loving a child means teaching them how to survive in the best way possible in a hard cold world. It takes forbearance on the part of a person who only wants to hug and hold close the person they love more than their own life.
These things carry over into adult relationships too, sometimes. Enabling harmful behavior is not loving. My diet isn't something that I try to stick to to make me sexy and beautiful. It is what keeps me whole and alive. Without careful choices I could lose a toe to diabetes, or my kidneys could shut down, or my heart might give out from all the extra work it has to do to carry around an extra hundred pounds. My body comes with all kinds of unpleasant reactions you may not have to live with, but I do.
Love is hard and personal and still the most wonderful feeling in the world. The people I love make my life worth living.
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