Up up and away

Today is my brother's birthday. He passed away a while ago and while I didn't see him as much as I might have, I did see him fairly frequently. We would go off in his blue PT Cruiser and drive along the river roads, taking small ferries and eating lunch at some out of the way place where he could get fish and I could get chicken. He liked to drive the car and I liked to ride, so I bought the gas.

I miss him. Especially this time of the year which was when we were most likely to get together, but I feel his presence whenever I come across bald eagles, his favorite animal, and sometimes when I am out walking in the woods.

So, today I am thinking about him and I posted something on Facebook. I expected people to like it or love it, but not to feel sad. Not that it's wrong to feel sad, but these people really didn't spend time with him when he was alive. It makes me wonder. Are they sad because they didn't? Or are they sad because he's gone and they can't make up for it now? Or are they sad because it curries sympathy and attention?

I hope anyone who might feel sad when I'm gone chooses to spend some quality time with me now. It's not that I won't appreciate a big mushy send off into the great beyond -- but I probably won't. I fervently hope to be flying unencumbered by any emotions at all as whole as it is possible to be by then.

If it turns out I am aware? Wow that's a whole different game! Maybe I'll have fun haunting the people who seem to put the most sad faces on any Facebook posts that are about me. That's a warning. (Hee hee,) I want you to be glad I am free from all these worldly problems. Just enjoy any memories of me you have that are good and get on making your own.