Lost in my head

I used to worry about what would happen if I ever got trapped in my head by old age, or senility, or something crazy, but my dreams are taking on cinema scope qualities.

This morning I dreamed I had agreed to marry a person from my past. (In real life I never dreamed of doing that.)

I found myself with him and his big extended family (think Alaskan Bush People) living in Australia as we prepared for the wedding. I was a younger thinner version of myself wondering why I had agreed to this wedding and wondering if I could love him enough to give him the marriage he deserved, because I knew I wasn't in love with him.

One of his brothers came to me and presented me with a sterling silver axe head inscribed with our names and the date of our marriage. It had no handle, was very sharp and although I was touched, it made me wonder even more why I was there.

His mother took me to see her very upscale galley kitchen, but I was too fat to walk through it. Their house was enormous. Think indoor football field big with tons of stuff packed around an empty center. Almost like hoarders on the edge.

His father took me downstairs where the wedding would be and I remember hugging my fiancee and  thinking he was so much smaller than I remembered, except for his leg braces which were just as big and heavy. Again I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but my son appeared for the wedding and I was so happy to see him.  I thought I would never see any of my family again now that I was in Australia.

Then the father and one of the older brothers took us to look at what was on the edges of the downstairs room and I saw fake houses and buildings and dioramas, that I soon realized had real people living in them and I asked if they knew this? The father said he did and took me into the one that looked like a snow scene.

We ran down a creature I thought was a yeti and it turned out to be Santa! There I was, lying on the snow holding onto Santa's boots when I got a text on my cell and woke up.

How disappointing!