A death in the family

Halloween and heaven and rituals, oh my.

Most modern religions claim to believe in an after life with God that is the most wonderful thing ever, something they are living to die for and yet . . . people are angry, sad and totally distraught when someone they love dies. 

Believing I was bringing my children up as Christians, I had to tell them something when we lost both their grandmothers while they were still very young. My son asked lots of questions. 

"Why doesn't she look like grandma now?"
I told them that the part of grandma that had loved them, laughed with them and played with them had gone to heaven to be with God. All that was left here was her shell.

"Why are you so sad if grandma is in heaven with God?"
That was an eye opener. I finally decided it was because I would miss her so much.

Then there is that weird thing following a death in the family where people who haven't seen each other for ages eat, drink and get emotional. As a young child myself I found these gatherings so similar to weddings that, to this day, I will use the words funeral/wedding interchangeably without realizing it. Lots of food and drama followed by a long line of cars following the person or people down the street past my grandmother's house.

This is the time of year I am most often assailed by conflicting thoughts of All Soul's Day, Holy Days, Holidays,Heaven and Hell, superstitions, and the rites and rituals jumbled together in our bag of modern coping mechanisms.