Funny how I can go along, perfectly happy with the way things are going and then someone asks me what I do for fun. Suddenly I feel very boring.
I haven’t gone on any adventures for a while. Well, my life has been an adventure, so I didn’t need to put myself out there to find any others.
I don’t really have a best friend here anymore; so there is no one to call up on the spur of the moment and say, “Let’s go do this, or that.” And I am not particularly good at making plans.
Plans feel like obligations and obligations are like water balloons filling up minute by minute. Before I ever get around to tying them off and throwing them, I am overwhelmed by their weight and wish I’d never thought of it.
Still, I haven’t really noticed being lonely. I still see people every day, talk to people and keep up with correspondence via email. And, I have years of experience just entertaining myself.
I am one of those odd people who really like being with me. There are a bunch of things I enjoy doing all by myself. I know people who really need others around to feel fulfilled, but as much as I love certain people, most of the time I feel obligated to entertain people when they are around and I actually need quite a bit of alone time if I am going to be creative. My muse is often the silence.
When I am with someone I want to focus on him or her, on what we are doing. When I am alone, I am free to focus on other things. There is a balance to both of these and I think my fulcrum is just farther to one side than many people.
As long as I am not boring myself, I guess things are about as good as they get.
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