Choices

When I say that I don't understand why anyone would choose to be unhappy, I have to admit this is not quite true. As a younger person I often opted for the less than optimum choice. I don't remember if I actually realized it was that, but it is what I did, nonetheless.

I felt there was some sort of nobility in suffering, in playing the martyr and there might be, if the circumstances were correct. If my suffering would save a nation, or bring about a cure for some dreaded disease, then it would be understandable. If it is only to draw attention to my sadness, isn't there a better way? That kind of suffering is ego, not martyrdom.

My life belongs to me and I should do with it, those things that bring me a sense of fulfillment and joy. I have a responsibility to those I love, to show them the way to better choices by living my own life that way.

Sometimes depression can make it seem as if there are no choices, but there are always choices. They may not solve all the problems, all the time, but they can certainly ease the way for a better future if made carefully. Just as looking ahead while driving can avoid things like hitting a child or dog that wanders into the street, so can a decision now help avoid a problem in the future.

When my life is not going well, when I am not happy, or in fact am very unhappy, then I need to step back and try to figure out what I might change. There is always something. There are people who live in the darkest slums of Calcutta who find more joy in their lives than people with homes and jobs and food on the table here in the Heartland.

That is something to think about. Whatever it is that makes us believe we should be sad and depressed and that these acts will bring some sort of goodness into the world needs to be re-thought. Of course I understand that we are under no obligation to be joyful, or even content, but I would not choose for it to be any other way.