One Dark Night In the Middle Of The Mountains

Let me set the scene for you.

Midnight in the mountains. Cold, rainy, dark, and likely to stay this way for the next couple of days, but the dogs have to go out. They need to go out now because? Because I want to sleep in, in the morning. And, because they have not been out for nearly seven hours. And because Duke cannot go much longer than this without an accident.

So here I am, standing in the rain watching my shadow’s naturally curly hair grow wilder and wilder by the moment. The dogs? They’re all wedged into the dry space between the screen door and the door jamb. They are not coming out. They think I’m nuts.

I whisper sweet threats into six deaf ears and finally pull out the pièce de résistance. Beggin’ Bits! I’ve been whispering so I don’t stir up all the neighboring dogs, who are not so lucky as these three wimps. Those dogs live outside, but now chaos reigns!

My three shoot out of the door like greased pigs who have finally hit maximum compression, only they are not grunting and squealing. They are barking, big, loud, deep woofs, that set off every dog within miles of here.

Joplin hits my chest, but luckily Duke hits me from behind at that exact same moment, so I am saved from a tumble into the puddle behind me. It is Eben who does the most damage. Her nose scents the treat in my fingers and goes straight for the prize, catching me with her teeth, puncturing my thumb nail and causing me to spew out words a grandmother should not know into the suddenly silent night.

Grabbing my thumb, I look surreptitiously around, hoping no one else is outside, then slink in to clean up the stuffed purple bat one of them chewed up and shredded all over the house. I turn out the aquarium lights, ignoring Hugh Laurie, the giant Jack Dempsey who wiggles up to the top hoping for another treat and grab a towel so I can wipe off twelve wet muddy feet.

Now I can’t sleep and my sacred hours are ticking away before I have to do this all over again!