Metaphors flood me as I try to write about those teachers who taught me what not to do and be. They are important too. In fact, they can leave an incredible imprint.
One frightening thing about them is that they often come from a misguided sense of love. Ideas like, “as the twig is bent, so does the tree grow,” or “spare the rod and spoil the child, “ or tough love makes us strong. Like topiaries, these are not bad ideas, but they can be bent into shapes that have no resemblance to the actual plant.
Fear is a powerful emotion. Fears that we don‘t have enough, or might not be enough, can be taught in backhanded, destructive ways masquerading as good advice, or wisdom. For example, rather than teaching someone what to do, do it for them so they don’t screw it up. Imagine all the things that teaches?
Osmosis is a silent teacher. A fear of doctors and dentists, teachers or policemen, illness or death, aging or poverty, the unknown, or unfamiliar; never voiced, but as clear as the actions that perpetrate them, can disable generations.
Teachers come in many guises, but sometimes it takes a lifetime to figure them out. Woe to those who never realize there are reverse teachers in life, the ones you need to outgrow, or shed, or morph out of.
They do present an opportunity, though, a chance to look at the unpalatable with love and by understanding, perhaps dissolve it.
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