Personas

As a child I dreamed of drama! I wanted to be a saint. Not the being crucified upside down, or burned at the stake kind of saint, just the doing miracles sort, kind of like a super hero with a heavenly persona. I might have succeeded, but it was just too much work. I opted out of sainthood rather early.

Later on I jumped into protesting with all the zeal of an eighteen year old, intent on cleaning up the political scene and stopping a war that was killing and maiming my friends, but the protesting became almost as violent as the war. The peace loving persona of many protesters turned out to be pretty thin in some places.

Following this I tried on corporate wife and then dedicated mother for the next thirty years. The machinations and personas involved here were so complicated and convoluted that I still don’t know if I was in some sort of Stepford paradise, or Freudian hell. But I do know that I loved the kids.

Finally I grew up and fell into love. I slipped into a world so amazingly infinitely finite that truth took on the persona of light and every single thing changed. Words no longer meant what they had before. People no longer seemed who they were before. Poetry became my favorite way to communicate. Understanding meant living tandem with an existence that could not distinguish itself from the thoughts in my mind and the breath in my body.

I found what I was dreaming of. It wasn’t drama. It was life.