Company Behavior

I have not felt well again and could not think of anything to write. It seems that most people have great thoughts pouring out of them in the books I enjoy, but it occurred to me that the email I enjoy most either sparks a common bond with me in some way, or tells me something about the person who wrote it, or both.

When my son was very small he asked me if it wouldn't be fun to go to his best friend's house and see what they were like when they were all alone. At first I thought, oh no voyeuristic tendencies like a certain relative we have in common, but then I realized he was still sorting out the world and what was expected, or normal, or even real. I think all of us have those feelings sometimes. We wonder if we are fundamentally different, or if everybody else is going through and enjoying much of what we are. Because we have been taught "company behavior" we doubt the rest of the world too.

In our house we most certainly did have company behavior. When that began to erode, so did other things. It is hard to change the rules half way through the game. Yet, they can change if one is willing to suffer the consequences and they are worth the agony. In the end, I got tired of company behavior and when people were led to ask where the bread machine was -- I simply took them to the garage and pulled it out of the trash for them.

It was just a beginning. None of us knew how big it was at the time. Life became more confusing for a while, a pretty long while, but in the end it all turned out to be for the best. Each one of us from that family is now a much happier person and in a much better place. Life is too complicated to waste time playing games. If something is worth doing, it is worth doing with heart and soul. All the rest turns out to be the scraps left lying around when I cut out the good parts and store them away for future reference.