Choices

 

I will be many things in my life, but I hope most of them will be things I orchestrated or chose for myself.

That means I have to taker responsibility for myself and understand that what happens to me is usually the result of something I did, or did not do.

I can't help if I am born with a disability, but I can help how I choose to live with it and I realize some things are harder to deal with than others. My granddaughter has cerebral palsy through no fault of her own, but she has learned to cope. Most of us have something we have to cope with even if it isn't so big. Coping is a very useful skill to have.

Sometimes I am better at coping than others. Long term things can wear me down, but eventually I usually discover some way to take control back and move forward. The important thing to remember is that it is never too late to change directions and try something new or more productive.

I am a mother, grandmother, sister, friend, writer, musician, artist and many other things, but I refuse to be a victim, which isn't always easy because when I grew up I was led to believe victims got more care and love than other people. Now I realize that love and pity are not the same thing.  Being pitiful makes you a victim not only of yourself, but others too. Respect and pity seldom go hand in hand.

I was on my way to being a victim when my daughter reminded me of something I had taught her long ago. One simple sentence got me back on the right path. "Mom, you could get a job." And I did.