The act of kindness

Kindness is a trait that everyone I know personally would tell you is important. My family, at least my maternal family, the one whose values governed my childhood, defines itself through kindness. People who made a living caring for people, they claim kindness to the nth degree.

Act nice -- kind -- polite. Put on a happy face. No one cares how you really feel. (Oops that one jut slipped out.) So smile and look happy.

With all this kindness oozing from every pore, you might think I grew up being taught how to be loving, kind and gentle, but the family stories were all about pulling one over on someone less savvy, or getting even without anyone realizing it until it was too late.  Instead of honest disagreement, or truth, or anger, I learned to be passive aggressive.

And perhaps the saddest part of it all is that we all thought it was kindness and love because we said what people wanted to hear and did what they wanted us to do -- just silently seething inside.

It wasn't until I watched my daughter-in-law's mother deal with a crabby two year old that I began to think about all this. Then I met Bestest and honed in on the finer points.

Kindness is honesty. It is empathy not passive aggressive anger. It is love on the ground with two feet, head on straight, intelligent living.

Love is not just an act and neither is kindness.