Auntie Rene's little lady

My godmother was an awesome woman. Calm, practical, resilient and a lady by all standards. She outlived one husband who died in world war two and married another to have children later in life than most women in her era. She was fifteen years younger than my grandmother, her best friend and thirteen years older than my mother, her other best friend. No one could have had a better best friend or godmother. She called me  Auntie Rene's little lady. Dreaming of flouncy dresses, high highfalutin tea parties and elegant manners, I wanted to be a lady!

That view changed as I grew up. Slowly but surely I noticed that I didn't relate to the airs of many so called ladies. Most of them were not the level headed, kind women my godmother was and I hated the way they feigned weakness.

I found myself drawn towards men. Not as prospective lovers like my friends, but as the kind of people I wanted to be. There was something more genuine about them. a quieter honesty and strength that made them very appealing. There are a thousand ways to misconstrue that and I learned early to keep that particular preference to myself.

When I said, "Look at him," people thought I thought he was cute and sometimes I did, but no more than when I said, Look at her." I am attracted to strong, self confident people who do not need to show off.

I thought confidence. competence, and kindness were the true marks of a gentleman and those were the things I coveted.