Love, lust, or lost

There has been a lot of talk lately -- about where all the good women (or men) have gone.

Of course this is not among the younger set.  It is mostly focused on those who have been around the block a time or two.

The thinking seems to be that people carrying baggage from former relationships are afraid to get deeply involved in new ones.

I can understand that.  No one wants to make the same mistake over again and by the time they hit this part of their lives, people also understand that there are a lot of other considerations when it comes to long term relationships.

Both men and women understand that marriage, even the first time, comes with lots of expectations that people don't want to talk about until it's too late.  Who's going to take out the trash?  Who does the yard work?  Who cooks?  How are the finances going to be handled?  And these are just the easy things!

And then there are those who expect more from a possible liaison than they have to give.  If a surface person is fat and wants a slim trim mate, it's going to take some looking to find a compatible one. If a wealthy well-educated person wants to find another well-educated wealthy person, but one who is willing to hand over the reins and toe the line -- that's another conundrum.

Finding just the right person  is tough once both parties have a pretty good idea of who they are and what they want.  And if someone does not know who they are and what they really want?  The pitfalls are perilous and deep.

When they become so deep you feel like you are buried, maybe it's time to step back and take a long hard look at yourself.

Because the only person you can even dream of changing is you.