Out of the depths

 I hate it when people point to someone and say, “See?  If she did it, anyone can!”

That is so blatantly false!  There is always the over achiever, the child who makes it despite incredible odds.  And there are probably a million other children who cannot possibly make it under those same odds.

Most of us, if we are honest, would not be where we are today without the help of some good and wise people who loved us enough to lay down the law, or throw bread crumbs in front of us.  Depending on who we are, we need encouragement and good advice.

Expecting our children to do more than we are capable of is wishful thinking.  Child rearing is work!  And if we aren’t prepared to do that work, we shouldn’t have children. 

The children might make it without conscientious and nurturing guardians.  They might find other people who love someone else’s child enough to do the work and have the time and money and energy that is necessary.  But it is a gamble.

We wouldn’t gamble a child’s life by tossing it in the sea and waiting to see if it can swim, or if it will drown.  Expecting some teacher, or local hero, or underpaid babysitter to save my child is a gamble.  Children deserve so much more than that.

There are children left behind before they ever leave the womb.  Their mothers drink or smoke, their fathers use drugs.  After birth they are ignored or drugged or sat in front of a television to keep them out of the way.  Once in school no one helps them with homework or takes an interest in developing their other talents.  The occasional one will make it big and society will point and say, “See?  If he did it, anyone can!”

Not all parents are equal, but almost all parents are capable of learning to nurture their own young.  It begins when the parent is born.  Children learn what they live and while some may not, it will go a long way towards improving the lives of countless others.  Most of us try to improve upon what we already know and that means each generation of children has the possibility of a better life without having to be the one in a million super hero.

Let’s be realistic.