I was running behind my brother when I was about twelve years old and wearing thongs on my feet. Suddenly there was a searing pain and I looked down to see my big toenail hanging from the side. It had been kicked off!
The horror of that hit me like a ton of bricks. I grabbed my toe and hopped screaming into the house where my mother tried to sit me down in a chair so she could look at it. I refused to let go. “It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt!” I kept hanging on to that toe and repeating those words again and again.
“Does it hurt now?” My mother asked and I was astounded to realize that for some strange reason, it did not. It did hurt a little when she bandaged it up, but by that time I was all cried out.
Since then I have tried not to get too upset over things before they happen, because….well, because they might not be half as bad as I anticipate!
Still, it is almost impossible to totally ignore the fear that precedes the unknown. When whatever I am worrying about is over, no matter what the outcome, I feel much better. And when it turns out to be nothing to worry about, I am almost elated!
And then I am tired. Worn out by all that non-worrying I tried not to do ahead of time.
No comments:
Post a Comment