Left Waiting

I don’t do very well when something takes a lot longer than I expected. Even if I have nothing else to do, or can do whatever I need to while I am waiting, I tend to fall apart.

It’s always been this way for me, even as a child. I remember waiting for my friend’s father to pick us up from the show and it seemed like he wasn’t coming. I convinced her we should walk over to his office, because he probably forgot. He must have come seconds after we disappeared, because by the time her mother discovered us at his office my friend was in big trouble. I was ten, she was two years to the day older than me. We shared a birthday, but she got a terrible spanking when we got home. Looking back I realize that her parents probably thought we’d been kidnapped, or something worse, but at the time I only felt it was their fault for taking so long.

Lennon’s parents are generally pretty good at calling when they are going to be late from work, but twice now they have left me hanging for some time. The first time I merely mentioned that I didn’t want to have to do that again. Tonight, even though they were only an hour late, I thought I should just let them know I was a little upset, so I called and fell apart on the telephone. My son knows I am a night owl and he knew I had my computer, so he figured all was well. I felt trapped and by the time he answered the phone I was in tears. What was wrong? I really didn’t know. I mumbled something about the dog crying, the fire kept going out and where were they?

Definitely an over reaction on my part and I felt pretty silly by the time they showed up, but it was real at the time. Whatever it is, I don’t deal well with it.