Shopping For Mangos

Tragedies are the mile posts most of us would rather avoid. No one in their right mind says, “Please god, send me a devastating experience so I can grow.”

Coming out of nowhere, it falls like a ton of bricks, shattering my faith in myself and my world, and breaking a heart I thought was so resilient it could withstand anything. My body goes into shock and cushions me just enough to keep me from diving over the edge.

Then comes the hard part. Thinking I cannot survive when I already have, experiencing the anger that follows and eventually realizing I am going to go forward whether I like it, or not.

Some people jump right back up and into the middle of things. My body has a time line all its own, a year seems short, but in retrospect it was forever.

One day I find myself out here shopping for spinach leaves and yogurt and mangos instead of macaroni and cheese and garlic bread. Days start a little earlier and end a little later. I laugh a little easier and I’m no longer so afraid to cry, because I know I will be able to stop.

Creativity raises its newborn head and looks around at the deep rich colors of late afternoon, listens to the glorious sounds of a spring thunder storm, and my imagination yawns once before stepping up to bat.

Suddenly I am back in the game and I’m not even sure how it happened. Perhaps, like a friend said, I am learning to respond instead of react.