Reflections

YOU give ME Soooooo Much>>>
If I were to say to YOU that you are the inspiring Muse that fills my Days and Nights with Mystery And Wonder.>>>> What would YOU think>>> Could YOU actually OWN the LIGHT that YOU ARE~~~ Hmmmmmmmmmmmm> makes me WONDER~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

How many times have I said this to someone and meant every word, but let someone say it to me and I am at a loss.

My first thought is well, of course I can own my light; but you know I'm pretty sure I really don't. Then I read what is actually said and I become a mushy mass of contradicting feelings. I just cannot imagine that I could be any of these things. Not really. I would like to be. I want to be. Have tried to be, but the actual doing feels foreign to me.

I feel unreal, like maybe I am just perpetrating a ruse on the whole world, including myself. Then I think maybe that is false humility and I am ashamed, but a moment later I flip back the other way.

I suppose that is why I have to live in the moment. I know I can't hold on to anything long enough to do anything else. If in some moment I do these things for you, for us, who are all really one beautiful manifestation of One, then I am so grateful, so graced by the fact that someone sees it and feels it and returns it to me a thousand times over.

I only know that most of the time I am so awed and amazed by this beautiful being we all are that it really shouldn't surprise me. But own it? Boy, I just don't know. That's a tough one for me.