I Just Want It To Be Simple

Conscious living allows me many opportunities for shedding my outer layers. Leaving me as vulnerable as a naked baby on a sunny beach. Exposing me to light and breath and spirit so intense than I could never hope to endure on my own. Forcing me to reach out and accept my oneness, to shed any false notions that I am alone or in charge of everything around me.

Carried in and out on tides of feelings I do not understand, I try on so many different faces. Each one a leap of faith that this is what I am supposed to do. Each one leaving its profound mark upon me, some to last forever. Some for only a moment. Some to light up my spirit so brightly that I can see far beyond where I saw yesterday. Others leaving an ache that seems will never heal, a void that catches all the tears and stores them as water colors that hang on the walls along this way.

Once I thought there was beginning, climax and end, all neatly laid out and aligned like a good novel, but I can’t see that anymore. It is all beginning, all ending, all wrapped up in a passion that overlaps in so many different places and ways that it is beyond my comprehension.

I just want it to be simple. That is all I have ever wanted and I have the feeling that it is. I just can’t see the simplicity. It lies just beyond my vision, beyond my understanding. I move beyond faith because I know.

I know. I KNOW. I have experienced and I Know, but I can’t know all the time and I can’t draw pictures of it, or find words for it, so here I am. Vulnerable and exposed, left loving and aching in this walk along the way.