Remembered

The crisp cool weather calls to me with a whisper so quiet I cannot quite make out what it says. I feel the pull in my bones to do something, but what it is I don't know. This isn't knew. I have felt this same thing all my life. As a child it was a time of new shoes and new clothes and a new class in school, but there is something deeper than this that is buried deeply within my being.

I feel as if I am someone suffering from amnesia, as if I need to re-member my thoughts and experiences. I ache for the cold streams and deep piles of red and yellow leaves on the forest floor. I feel like an addict, or pregnant mother with a yearning for something I desperately need, but cannot find. Something so exquisitely precious, it has melted in my mouth and left a divine after taste that can never more be forgotten.

The wood smells pull me into reveries of orange red fires flickering in stone fireplaces and people huddled close to hear the stories and smell the apples baking on the hearth. I love the closeness of Fall, the feeling of everything and everyone pulling in, becoming cozier, wanting to snuggle under covers and quilts and cloaks in small places. The comfort foods of bread and stews cooking long hours and filling the world with their aroma.

Today I went and played my flute. It was just in my backyard, which is truly a reflection of Eden I am sure. I played from my heart, haunting notes and happy notes, familiar songs and tunes no one has ever heard but me and...for a minute or two...birds came to sing with me in the apple trees and overgrown bushes that surrounded us. Once I became aware of it, the magic was gone and no matter how hard I tried, I could not recreate whatever it was that called them to me, but it was there and is here and I think I remembered it.