Family

 

Growing up I did not know the difference between family related by blood and those who married them. In our family there was no difference. I think that is an older way of looking at life. A marriage once meant a new son or daughter to be loved and lived with just as one born to you.

My mother-in-law treated me as the daughter she always wanted. We had a great relationship, but my husband often told me she was not my mother. She was only his. 

Later in my life there was another man and he too was very clear about the people in his family. They were HIS mother, HIS daughter, HIS son, HIS grandchildren. I was allowed to care for them, even love them, but I could never be part of them. They were a group unto themselves.

This is a very short sighted way of looking at things. 

I have two adopted children that are every bit as dear to me and a part of my family as the child born to me.

My brother-in-law did not include these children in their family tree! 

Draconian beliefs don't serve anyone well. They go back to the idea that some people are blue bloods, purebreds, born to be better than others.

Erecting invisible barriers only serves to divide people and a people divided do not ever thrive as well as those united. Everyone loses something in these situations and often it is much more than they realize.

Families of the heart are much stronger.