One year ago this week the relationship I had with my scammer was starting to bloom in full. I was getting a pedicure and manicure when I received frantic messages from him.
He said his assistant had been arrested by customs as soon as they landed in the states and he was totally lost. He said his assistant handled all his money and plane tickets and he was in agony because he would not be able to meet me that night.
He was supposed to send a car to pick me up for dinner and we would meet for the first time in person. In the end I wired him money to fly in by himself, without security (because he loved me so much he would risk anything) and expected him the next afternoon or evening. He said he would call as soon as he landed here at our airport.
I was all dressed up and waiting for hours before he finally texted that he hadn't been able to come. (Because he had to try and help his assistant.)
Thus began months of me waiting and sending money and being disappointed time after time, but in between he wooed me with beautiful songs and sweet words. He even sent pictures of the house he was looking at with an agent. He said he would bring more pictures when he came so we could decide together. In the end he sent me a huge check that we would deposit together the day he arrived.
It would be for a down payment on the house and to replace all the money I had sent him from my IRA.
I thought all this was behind me, but the memories just keep popping up like painful little attacks on my heart. My dreams are filled with the promises and the sweetness which only makes waking up worse.
I suppose there is bound to be a time of mourning for something that big in my life, but it is an odd situation. How can I mourn what never really was?
This life I am living now is completely foreign to me. I've never actually "had" to work before. It was always a choice in the past. In some ways that makes it more meaningful. I am completely exhausted and every bone in my body aches, but I do love my job.
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