Working vs Nonworking

    

I often find myself at odds with some people. I know it is because we do not have the same values and I also know that my standards are pretty high, but there is more to it than that. 

Today I think I figured it out. The person said, "I worked." Implying that I did not work and I answered, "I worked, I just did not get paid." All of these things are true.

The problem is not that this person had to work. They did, but the implication that I just sat around home doing nothing really rankles. I did get paid to work part time teaching, but my main job was my children.

I took child rearing very seriously. They were not just dolls to dress up and show off. I felt responsible for their outlook in life. I wanted them to be well rounded in not just literature, science and math, but also music, sports, and all around interpersonal relations. We had schedules designed to give them regulated sleep, healthy meals, exercise, and education, incorporating fun, and free time and it paid off. All of my children have pretty happy, healthy, productive lives. I was not just their playmate, I was also the coordinator in our family. I made things work and I worked hard at it.

I believe every human being has unique needs and a good parent tries to help them develop in the best way possible. Enabling them only handicaps them. If no one tells you, or shows you, alternative and better ways of doing things then you are more likely to grow up disadvantaged. Children do not necessarily know what is best for them. They do need parents, people who have more experience and are willing to share it.

Our world is complicated. That is why we give people twenty or so years to grow up. After that it is time to step back and let them experience success and failure on their own terms. Learning by doing is valuable too, once you have the basics down. A little help here or there is fine, but it should be judiciously given to encourage them to grow and be independent.

Some day the parents will be gone and the children will be parents themselves. It is important that they have the skills to pass on to their children otherwise it is possible that generations of struggling failures will follow.